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Red Screen of the Future (Part 3)
Red Screen of the Future (Part 3) is the third part of the second episode of The Super Evil Guy Super Show! S ummary Evil Guy is forced to fight his corrupted friends, one by one, in a battle to the death for the Red Army's amusement. Script Scene 1 Pan from above onto a gladiatorial arena, carved from brick-red granite and coated with scarlet sand. It is seated with millions of cheering spectators, all of whom are soldiers in the Red Army of Death. Evil Guy is in the center of the colosseum, and Raiza is floating above it. RAIZA: Attention, my troops! The crowd goes silent. RAIZA: What you are about to see will be the most sadistically amusing sight of the decade, if not the century! The crowd cheers. RAIZA: Watch as our arch-nemesis, Evil Guy... The crowd boos and hisses. RAIZA: ...Fights his own friends in a battle to the death for our own amusement! The crowd cheers again. Evil Guy bows his head and clenches his fists, his facial expression invisible from above. RAIZA: Now, it is time for the first challenger! OPEN THE NORTH GATE! The gate directly ahead of Evil Guy slowly opens. His father, who is shrouded in red smoke, floats toward Evil Guy and halts about two feet away from him. RAIZA: The first challenger is...Evil Guy's very own father! The crowd laughs and cheers. Evil Guy grimaces and stares his father in the eye as the latter begins to inch closer and closer to him. EVIL GUY: Raiza, I'll make you twice as red as-- The Shy Guy interrupts Evil Guy with a lightning-quick dash through the air, followed by a punch to the gut. Evil Guy gasps, winded, and staggers back a few steps. EVIL GUY: I'm not going to kill you, Dad. SHY GUY: Fine by me. You're too puny. EVIL GUY: What did you say?! SHY GUY: Too puny...weak...obese. The crowd lets out a resounding "oooooh" as Evil Guy's sour-faced grimace turns to an exaggerated mask of rage. EVIL GUY: Don't you--call me--''obese''! Evil Guy body-slams the Shy Guy, who stumbles backward and adjusts his mask in surprise. Evil Guy lets out a raging battle-cry and charges at the Shy Guy, who flies toward the ceiling. RAIZA: Oop-oop-oop! No escaping! Raiza waves his hand, disintegrating the Shy Guy. RAIZA: Evil Guy's father has been...disqualified. The crowd laughs and cheers, taunting Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Damn you, Raiza! Evil Guy collapses on the sand beneath him and moans painfully. Fade to black. Scene 2 Evil Guy rises to his feet once more. Another gate, this one directly behind Evil Guy, slowly opens at Raiza's command. RAIZA: The next challenger is... A crimson figure steps out from underneath the gate, covered in red flames. RAIZA: ...Pickle! The crowd laughs and cheers. Some start throwing their popcorn at Evil Guy and Pickle. RAIZA: Begin! Pickle raises his arms and summons a giant fireball, giving Evil Guy to roll out of its way as it nearly misses him. The crowd "ooh"s and "ahh"s as Evil Guy evades two more giant fireballs. PICKLE: That's it! Pickle waves his arms around, using them as flamethrowers. The flames do not come anywhere near Evil Guy. PICKLE: Curse this wind! How is there even any wind inside a mountain?! RAIZA: Well, I have to keep my army breathing, don't I? PICKLE: Indeed, Master. EVIL GUY: Enough! Evil Guy crouches and begins to whip sand at Pickle's face. His flames burn hotter and hotter as Evil Guy chucks more and more sand until, finally, it solidifies into a mask of molten glass around Pickle's head. PICKLE: My eyes! Ahhhhhh! They burn! Evil Guy looks around at the crowd before him and strikes a heroic pose. EVIL GUY: Boy, am I on fire or what? The crowd cheers even louder, chanting his name. RAIZA: Pickle has lost. Take him away. PICKLE: Not so fast! The crowd gasps in unison, as do Raiza and Evil Guy. Pickle sends a crackle of red energy across his face, causing the glass to cool down and shatter into bits. Scene 3 Pickle floats away from Evil Guy, clutching his face in pain. RAIZA: Ooh...it looks like Pickle's having trouble healing his eyes. What is he going to do? Pickle charges toward Evil Guy like a flaming missile, surrounding himself with a cone of crimson flame. EVIL GUY (Panting): I'm too tired to dodge anymore. I'll have to finish this, quick! Evil Guy lowers his head and charges at Pickle like a rhinoceros. Both of them let out battle cries as the crowd's cheering intensifies. RAIZA: And now for the climactic finish... Below Raiza, Evil Guy's and Pickle's heads connect with a sickening crack. Both of them stumble backward, Evil Guy clutching his head in pain and Pickl lying on the ground, motionless, as red pickle juice trickles from his head. The crowd groans and makes sympathetic *tsk, tsk* noises. RAIZA: Another challenger has been vanquished, thanks to that cheating helmet Evil Guy got from our very own Sgag. The crowd boos and hisses at Evil Guy. EVIL GUY: Hey! It was only fair that I receive an advantage, just as your minions have! I'm not a Red Army member, after all. RAIZA: Well, maybe you should be. The crowd cheers as another gate is lifted. It is empty. RAIZA: Uh-oh. It seems that my minions have had some trouble converting Fernando, His watery powers have proven too much for the Red Screen of Death. Very well, then. Summon the other challenger that was converted with him! Fade to black with the words "To Be Concluded" appearing on the screen. THE END Moral Don't be afraid to punch red guys. Trivia One of the spectators in the background was a Red Army incarnation of George W. Bush.